Forever

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Forewarning: This blog is gonna be sappy and sentimental.

Few things last forever.  Milk spoils in about 2 weeks.  Tire treads wear out in a few years.  Prime Time TV runs only about 6 seasons on average. Fashion evolves with the seasons. Kids grow up and move away.  Shops on Main Street will open and close.

Things change a lot.  I’ve never been good with change.  I actually hate it, I attempt to control aspects of whatever is going on.  I’m wayyy tooo Type A.

People change.  I know that’s debatable, that we in essence are the same people we have always been but over time we grow and adapt. But I believe that people change and that I am no longer the quiet kid from the Catholic School in Ohio.

Nothing in my life has ever been constant.  I’ve always felt a bit on my own.  Like I was always watching out for myself.  But in hindsight I realize that’s not the case.

646_1116880443744_1155893_nYou see, God must have known that I couldn’t do things on my own.  He knew I needed a best friend.  He knew I needed a sister.  So he gave me my best friend of 17 years.  6208_1209072748494_7841841_nWe have very similar families, for a while we could pass as sisters, we had similar interests, and a maturity level that seemed only laughable at times.

She’s my person, my rock, my soul mate.  But in the past year I’ve felt farther from her than ever. More than when they separated us in high school. More than when I moved 500 miles away four years ago.

10849_1313775606000_6852922_nAnd I could get into all my fears and self doubt and nights when I just felt like I was losing a piece of myself.  When I would compare our lives and question which one of us was on the “right” path. There were times when I blamed myself for leaving her alone at home when I was living a crazy schedule in Nashville.  The Times I felt like I had abandoned her.

There were times where I felt forgotten, like I didn’t matter anymore.  There were times I felt we couldn’t be more different.  There were times when people would tell me all the cliches “People Change and that’s ok to just not be friends anymore.”

I tried to accept that, but I couldn’t.  I couldn’t give up 17 years of friendship over night.

And there was a time I figured I could, that I could just wave goodbye and she would be okay; she’d found someone to replace me anyway.

But I selfishly could not.  After all this girl had saved my ass more than once and been my only friend for a long time.

8416_1240896784075_5724222_nAnd I’m glad I have not.  Because after all the wondering and conflicted times; I’ve realized that we are Best Friends Forever.  I’ve got at least one stupid plastic necklace from an arcade to prove it and a million pictures to support as evidence.  We aren’t friends for now, or for another 10 minutes, or 10 years…

Forever means there are times when she’s gonna hate my guts, when I wear an awful shade of tangerine and hold her bouquet, when she FaceTime’s me so I know if the outfit for my date looks ok, when I babysit some grubby kid with her face, when she comes to my Law School graduation, and when we make up reasons to drink wine and eat cookie dough from the bucket.

148366_10200381462600685_1818563335_nI mean we have a lot to go through in the next 75 years or so.  A couple bumps in the road ain’t gonna stop us.

1525540_10202877061709103_1663341784_nSo bring on the times when I have to tell her things she’s gonna hate, when I wear an appealing gray dress and hold her bouquet at her wedding, when I FaceTime her for 2 hours all about my date, when I get to babysit her adorable babies, when she plays in a fountain with me on my Law School graduation, and when we eat cookie dough and drink wine for no reason.

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Look I Did It! I Won College…

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…because essentially that’s what I did! It took four long years but 10342431_10203741885249151_7696620081474085990_nI did it! I officially have my Bachelors of Business Administration from Belmont University, the school everyone expected me to fail out of.  To get too Homesick and run away from.  To realize it was too crazy of a dream and pick something more practical.

 

I won my World Series.

1558592_10203741884409130_4438118139618546166_nSome people dream of finding love and some to spend forever with (the MRS Degree).  Some people dream of traveling the world.  Some people just want to do better than their parents.  I’ve always wanted to be better and do better than what people expected me to do.  Tell me I can’t do something only fuels me. I’m stubborn and Hard Headed.  I know what I want and I go after it no questions asked, no consequences considered.

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And yeah I fall on my ass quite a bit… and I usually say shit I shouldn’t…and what usually looks like failure probably is…but I never live this life with regrets.  I love fiercely and wear my emotions on my sleeve.  I’ve worked my butt off to be someone in this industry and that’s what I plan to do.

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I want to be a mix of Hillary Clinton, Blair Waldorf, and Olivia Pope.  A Lawyer with class and a woman with wit and intelligence.  I want to help people, serve justice, and care about people.  I want people to know my name and know these things about me. 1620710_10154188948420122_5333836296645177613_n“I come from a long line of sinners like me…” who paved the way for me to get here.  My grandparents were rebels…they came from virtually nothing and overcame things I am blessed never to experience.  They finished high school and loved and raised their kids…who loved and raised me on partial college degrees…they set me up for this.  I am the first College Graduate in my family…and as long as I’m around I’m going to make sure my brother and eight other cousins do too.

mom gram mamaw 2karen and I 1dad and mamaw

I thank these two the most :)

I thank these two the most 🙂

But for now I have to focus…I have this thing called law school to try my hand at. And its gonna be awesome.

926428_707326692639435_913723648_nHere’s to the next adventure!

My Best -Jess