Forewarning: This blog is gonna be sappy and sentimental.
Few things last forever. Milk spoils in about 2 weeks. Tire treads wear out in a few years. Prime Time TV runs only about 6 seasons on average. Fashion evolves with the seasons. Kids grow up and move away. Shops on Main Street will open and close.
Things change a lot. I’ve never been good with change. I actually hate it, I attempt to control aspects of whatever is going on. I’m wayyy tooo Type A.
People change. I know that’s debatable, that we in essence are the same people we have always been but over time we grow and adapt. But I believe that people change and that I am no longer the quiet kid from the Catholic School in Ohio.
Nothing in my life has ever been constant. I’ve always felt a bit on my own. Like I was always watching out for myself. But in hindsight I realize that’s not the case.
You see, God must have known that I couldn’t do things on my own. He knew I needed a best friend. He knew I needed a sister. So he gave me my best friend of 17 years. We have very similar families, for a while we could pass as sisters, we had similar interests, and a maturity level that seemed only laughable at times.
She’s my person, my rock, my soul mate. But in the past year I’ve felt farther from her than ever. More than when they separated us in high school. More than when I moved 500 miles away four years ago.
And I could get into all my fears and self doubt and nights when I just felt like I was losing a piece of myself. When I would compare our lives and question which one of us was on the “right” path. There were times when I blamed myself for leaving her alone at home when I was living a crazy schedule in Nashville. The Times I felt like I had abandoned her.
There were times where I felt forgotten, like I didn’t matter anymore. There were times I felt we couldn’t be more different. There were times when people would tell me all the cliches “People Change and that’s ok to just not be friends anymore.”
I tried to accept that, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t give up 17 years of friendship over night.
And there was a time I figured I could, that I could just wave goodbye and she would be okay; she’d found someone to replace me anyway.
But I selfishly could not. After all this girl had saved my ass more than once and been my only friend for a long time.
And I’m glad I have not. Because after all the wondering and conflicted times; I’ve realized that we are Best Friends Forever. I’ve got at least one stupid plastic necklace from an arcade to prove it and a million pictures to support as evidence. We aren’t friends for now, or for another 10 minutes, or 10 years…
Forever means there are times when she’s gonna hate my guts, when I wear an awful shade of tangerine and hold her bouquet, when she FaceTime’s me so I know if the outfit for my date looks ok, when I babysit some grubby kid with her face, when she comes to my Law School graduation, and when we make up reasons to drink wine and eat cookie dough from the bucket.
So bring on the times when I have to tell her things she’s gonna hate, when I wear an appealing gray dress and hold her bouquet at her wedding, when I FaceTime her for 2 hours all about my date, when I get to babysit her adorable babies, when she plays in a fountain with me on my Law School graduation, and when we eat cookie dough and drink wine for no reason.